70+ Funniest Retirement Quotes That Will Make Your Day

70+ Funniest Retirement Quotes That Will Make Your
Day

Table of Contents

1	Retirement: It’s The Only Time In Life When You Can Have A Drink In The Morning And Not Feel Guilty.
2	Retirement Is Like A Long Vacation In Las Vegas. The Goal Is To Enjoy It To The Fullest, But Not So Fully That You Run Out Of Money.
3	Retirement Is When You Stop Living At Work And Start Working On Living.
4	Retirement Is The Time When You Realize That Getting Up Early Is More Of A Nuisance Than A Necessity.
5	Retirement Is Wonderful. It’s Doing Nothing Without Worrying About Getting Caught.
6	Retirement Is The Only Time When You Can Truly Enjoy Your Morning Coffee Without The Fear Of It Getting Cold.
7	Retirement Is The World’s Longest Coffee Break.
8	Retirement Is Having Nothing To Do And All Day To Do It.
9	Retirement Is Like A Never-Ending Weekend, Except You Can’t Remember The Last Time You Did Laundry.
10	Retirement Is The Art Of Never Getting Around To Things You Planned On Doing.
11	Retirement Is The Time When You Stop Counting The Hours And Start Making Every Hour Count.
12	Retirement: The Only Time In Life When You Can Trade Your Suit For A Pair Of Pajamas And Not Be Judged.
13	Retirement Is When You Switch Bosses From The One Who Hired You To The One Who Married You.
14	Retirement Is The Perfect Time To Become A Kid Again. Just Without The Curfew.
15	Retirement Is Like A Permanent Saturday, Except You Don’t Have To Do Yard Work.
16	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Finally Give Up On Keeping Up With The Joneses And Start Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
17	Retirement Is The Best Excuse To Never Set An Alarm Clock Again. Unless It’s For Brunch.
18	Retirement: The Only Phase In Life When Doing Nothing Is Considered An Art Form.
19	Retirement Is Like A Long Vacation With A One-Way Ticket.
20	Retirement Is The Age When Your Social Calendar Is Full, And Your Days Of The Week Are All Labeled ‘S.’
21	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Finally Stop Pretending To Be Busy And Start Actually Being Busy Doing Nothing.
22	Retirement Is When You Can Finally Say, ‘I’M Too Old For This… And I Don’t Care.’
23	Retirement Is Like Being A Kid Again, But With More Money And Fewer Teeth.
24	Retirement Is The Opportunity To Wake Up Every Morning And Decide What To Do… And Then Go Back To Sleep.
25	Retirement Is The Time When You Realize That ‘Happily Ever After’ Isn’t Just For Fairy Tales.
26	Retirement: It’s The Art Of Never Having To Wear A Tie Again, Unless You Want To.
27	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Finally Trade Deadlines For Fishing Lines.
28	Retirement Is Like A Permanent Vacation, Except You Never Have To Worry About Forgetting To Pack Anything.
29	Retirement Is The Phase In Life When You Trade Your Boss For Your Spouse And Still Get Yelled At.
30	Retirement Is When You Can Finally Stop Rushing And Start Enjoying The Scenery.

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Hilarious Funny Retirement Quotes That Will Make Your Day

31	Retirement Is The Age When You Start Counting Your Pennies Because You Finally Have The Time To Do So.
32	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Play Golf Without Feeling Guilty… And Then Feel Guilty About Playing Too Much Golf.
33	Retirement Is The Opportunity To Pursue The Hobbies You Love Without Having To Explain Why To Anyone.
34	Retirement Is Like A Never-Ending Weekend, But With A Lot More Naps.”
35	Retirement Is When You Can Finally Put The ‘Pro’ In ‘Procrastination.’
36	Retirement Is The Phase In Life When ‘Early To Bed, Early To Rise’ Becomes ‘Late To Bed, Early To Rise… For Breakfast.’
37	Retirement Is Like Being A Teenager Again, But With Better Judgment And A Bigger Bank Account.
38	Retirement Is When You Can Finally Stop Pretending To Be Interested In Boring Office Conversations And Start Eavesdropping On Interesting Conversations At The Coffee Shop.
39	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Take Up A New Hobby And Become The World’s Okayest At It.
40	Retirement Is The Age When You Realize That Growing Old Is Mandatory, But Growing Up Is Optional.
41	Retirement Is The Perfect Opportunity To Show The World That You Can Be A Professional Napper.
42	Retirement Is Like A Permanent Staycation, But With No Obligations To Clean The House.
43	Retirement Is When You Can Finally Master The Art Of Doing Nothing And Still Feeling Accomplished.
44	Retirement Is The Phase In Life When You Can Wear Mismatched Socks And Proudly Declare It As Your Unique Fashion Statement.
45	Retirement Is Like Having A Backstage Pass To Life, Where You Can Watch All The Action Unfold Without Being In The Spotlight.
46	Retirement Is When You Have All The Time In The World To Learn Something New, Like How To Take The Perfect Selfie Or How To Use Emojis.
47	Retirement Is The Phase In Life When You Can Finally Blame Your Forgetfulness On Old Age And Get Away With It.
48	Retirement Is Like A Second Childhood, But With A Lot More Money And A Lot Fewer Tantrums.
49	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Finally Let Your Hair Down, Unless, Of Course, You’re Bald Like Me.
50	Retirement Is The Age When You Can Wear A Fanny Pack And Not Care About Fashion Trends.
51	Retirement Is Like Being On A Permanent Vacation, Except Your Suitcase Is Filled With Prescription Medications.
52	Retirement Is When You Can Finally Say, ‘I’M Retired. Do I Look Busy?’
53	Retirement Is The Perfect Excuse To Eat Dessert First, Because Who Knows What The Future Holds?
54	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Finally Catch Up On All Those Tv Shows And Movies You Pretended To Watch During Office Discussions.
55	Retirement Is Like A Daily Happy Hour, But Without The Guilt Of Missing A Morning Meeting.
56	Retirement Is When You Can Embrace Your Inner Couch Potato And Turn It Into An Olympic Sport.
57	Retirement Is The Age When You Can Wear Socks With Sandals And Proudly Proclaim, ‘I’ve Reached Maximum Comfort!’
58	Retirement Is The Opportunity To Trade High Heels For Slippers And Never Look Back.
59	Retirement Is Like Being A Kid In A Candy Store, Except You Can Afford To Buy All The Candy.
60	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Finally Forget The Names Of People You Never Liked In The First Place.
61	Retirement Is When Your Social Calendar Fills Up With Doctor’s Appointments Instead Of Business Meetings.
62	Retirement Is Like A Permanent Weekend, Where You Can Wear Pajamas All Day And Nobody Judges You.
63	Retirement Is The Phase In Life When You Can Spend Hours Perfecting Your ‘Grumpy Old Person’ Impression.
64	Retirement Is When You Can Finally Live Out Your Dream Of Becoming A Professional Napper.
65	Retirement Is Like A Blank Canvas, And You’re The Artist Who Gets To Paint The Most Colorful And Adventurous Chapter Of Your Life.
66	Retirement Is The Age When You Can Proudly Display Your Collection Of Remote Controls Without Anyone Questioning Your Sanity.
67	Retirement Is The Perfect Time To Take Up Gardening, Because Watering Plants Is A Socially Acceptable Way To Talk To Yourself.
68	Retirement Is When You Can Finally Let Go Of All The Work-Related Stress And Embrace The Stress Of Trying To Remember Where You Left Your Reading Glasses.
69	Retirement Is Like Being A Superhero Without A Cape, Because You Save The World One Nap At A Time.
70	Retirement Is The Phase In Life When You Can Finally Put Your Car Keys In Your Pocket And Not Worry About Losing Them.
71	Retirement Is When You Can Proudly Declare That You’ve Upgraded From Business Casual To Full-Time Leisure.
72	Retirement Is The Age When You Can Trade Office Politics For A Game Of Bingo And Still Feel A Rush Of Adrenaline.
73	Retirement Is The Time When You Can Finally Pursue Your True Passion: Napping Like A Professional.
74	Retirement Is Like A Long-Awaited Vacation, Except You Don’t Have To Set An Out-Of-Office Email Reply.